Venice (The One Without The Gondolas)

I stepped out of my car and took in the fresh ocean breeze or anticipated one anyway. There wasn't one. And it was scorching hot. Just as I was wrapping my mind around the idea that I chose a bad day to come here, my thoughts were interrupted. A beach bum in a rasta hat and dreads that looked like they were nesting birds among other critters appeared at my side: "Hey honey, can you spare a dollar? Let's get loaded." How do you respond to that proposition? "Are you kidding me? You think we can get loaded for a buck? O.K., prove it!" But instead I just politely muttered, " No thanks." And that began my trip on the boardwalk, literally and figuratively. (no drugs were ingested, unless you consider guacamole and chips intoxicating, then... Yes)

I walked around, camera in hand, which made me stand out even more, and apparently provoked the next suitor to say "nice camera... and nice ass."
I treaded on and took some shots. (I didn't get a shot of Loaded Man, unfortunately.)

First, a couple of shots of the boardwalk..and a building.

Pipe shops, medical marijuana, mind reading, palm reading and a synogogue...Oh My!

This couple was working up a sweat on their Segways...or maybe that was just because their helmets were on too tight and it was about 90 degrees.

I really wanted to check my body energy and circulation. And there it was. A "check your body and energy circulation" booth. Now that I found out where to do it, I just had to figure out how.

Since I couldn't figure out how to check my body energy and what went where, and the beekeeping lady next to the sunglasses rack was obviously too busy with her bees to help me (see below), I decided to move on...

No Hassle? Are pipes usually a hassle? No hassle in the pipe shop? Is there usually hassling in pipe shops? Hassling pipes?

These warrior figurines were just hanging out on the boardwalk. I'm not sure why. But does there really need to be an explanation for warrior figurines?

Just like the warriors, these Venetians were also just hanging around on the boardwalk. I like to call it "the happy love corner"...there was a lot of love going around.

This bistro (I know it was a bistro from the sign) was directly across from "the happy love corner." These two should have considered going there, since they didn't look so happy here. He's tired of getting dumped over lunch, ladies. Come on, give him a break. (The bistro got an A, not all's lost.)

Freakshow? Do you really have to ask?

I don't know why this guy was so irritated when I asked him if he could read me "Green Eggs and Ham." I don't see anyone else around, Captain. I snapped the picture and ran. (He never did read to me in the end.)

His T-shirt read "Jazz is my life." Was he painting his way through Jazz school? Painting only JAZZ musicians, like the two behind him?

I hope they don't have a bicycle up there. Did they see the "No bicycles" sign?

"Honey, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. Good thing I brought the big turquoise bag filled with stuff, though."

On to Main Street...(doesn't every Main Street have a ballerina clown mascot?)

A tanning salon. "Darque Tan." Dar ke? Dar cue? Dark weh?

Then it was time to Exhale and Sit Still, so I did.

I left Venice without a single souvenir, drug, tattoo or knowing about my body energy and circulation...I might have to go back next week.