Along Came A Spider

At first, I was just minding my own business, enjoying my sushi at the bar, before a couple sat down next to me. I swear I tried to focus on the California roll before me, but couldn’t. The couple next to me, the girl in particular, was so loud. I am sure the people on the other end of the bar heard what she was saying as well. I know this because they were staring. (At least I told myself this, so that I wasn’t the only one eavesdropping.)

There I was, focusing on maneuvering the sushi from my plate to my mouth with my chopsticks, when they sat down. She pulled out his stool for him and then her own.
“Oh, ok,” he mumbled sitting down. She had a puzzled look on her face as she sat down.
“I’m just not used to that. That’s all,” he said
“What? Girls being nice to you ?” she asked sarcastically.
He just sat in his stool and they both concentrated on penciling in their orders.
Ok, I was curious. I really tried not to listen again, really, and refilled my soy sauce dish.
“So?” He said uncomfortably. Obviously this was going nowhere real fast. “Tell me about yourself, what do you do?”
(Shouldn’t they have known about this through the site they met on or friend that introduced them? Back to my ginger…sorry)
“I’m a movie-goer,” she said.
Turned out he was fascinated. “Oh, you work in the industry?”
“No, I just like seeing a lot of movies.”
“I see.”
Oh boy, he was really struggling here…but not for long. It wasn’t too long before she went into details about her dog’s surgery, and I mean details. (I had to shut this part out…come on, we’re eating here!) She went on to how much she loved her dogs and how difficult it was to train her rabbit to go in the litter box. Blah blah blah. All the while, the poor guy was trying to get in a word here and there. So he finally tries..
“I’m not much of a dog person, although I love…” he was then interrupted.
As if she was reciting a monologue, she continued. “I’ve always loved dogs. In fact, I want to get more, but my roommates won’t let me. I would never get a cat, though. I hate cats.”
That’s when he interrupted, “Yeah, that what I was just going to say. I love cats. I have had mine since college and can’t live without him.”
“I guess I could learn to love them,” she joked, as if he asked her to.
She continued to look down at her food, while he did the same. The sushi chef kept passing their plates and she would take his and hand it to him.
Finally, I think he flipped. “I can get my OWN sushi. Thank you!”
“You’re welcome,” she said obliviously.
I was done with my sushi and was haphazardly shoving ginger in my mouth at this point. That’s where I had to draw the line. I asked for the check, and so did she, apparently.
Our checks came. I paid my bill. She did the same…”I’ll pick up the tab,” she said.
“But we’re not done.” He pleaded.
“I am.”
“OK. Thanks…I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” she replied while slapping down the cash. She jetted out.
The sushi chef came over to the poor guy. “What happened?”
“I got free sushi. Woman’s lib!”
Sometimes…there is nothing left to say.