Table For One

     "Table for one ?", the maitre d' asked condescendingly, glaring at me.      

     "Yes, please", I whispered shamefully.  I probably shouldn't have been ashamed, but I was.  I don't know how long it had been since I dined alone, thankfully. 

     Being married for four years and a mother for nearly two, doesn't leave a lot of time for solo dining.  Now it even felt uncomfortable.    To add, I was at a networking conference and spent my lunch break away from everyone.  I guess I had the wrong idea, as did the lone wolves at table number two, three, four and five, around me.  (Scratch that, table five's guests arrived late).  You would think at a networking event, we'd socialize and share a table, perhaps.  But no, that could be complicated by the fact that we would have to converse or even worse share a tab and split the bill.     

      I felt uneasy, as if I had to keep myself busy to come across confidently.  I felt that everyone was staring at me.  Well, they weren't, but it sure felt as though they were.  The people at tables two through five didn't appear anxious.  They kept themselves busy with trivial tasks. One was fidgeting with his cell phone, another with his laptop.  The man at table four was meticulously rearranging the items in his backpack.  They must have felt just as uncomfortable as I had.     

     While I was sitting alone and without distraction,  I was able to just slow down for a bit and relax.  I began to enjoy the stillness.  My food arrived.  I ate as I watched the man at table number four clean out his backpack for the second and third time.      

      I realized that sitting alone wasn't so bad after all......only next time, I'll be sure to bring my backpack.