Table For One

     "Table for one ?", the maitre d' asked condescendingly, glaring at me.      

     "Yes, please", I whispered shamefully.  I probably shouldn't have been ashamed, but I was.  I don't know how long it had been since I dined alone, thankfully. 

     Being married for four years and a mother for nearly two, doesn't leave a lot of time for solo dining.  Now it even felt uncomfortable.    To add, I was at a networking conference and spent my lunch break away from everyone.  I guess I had the wrong idea, as did the lone wolves at table number two, three, four and five, around me.  (Scratch that, table five's guests arrived late).  You would think at a networking event, we'd socialize and share a table, perhaps.  But no, that could be complicated by the fact that we would have to converse or even worse share a tab and split the bill.     

      I felt uneasy, as if I had to keep myself busy to come across confidently.  I felt that everyone was staring at me.  Well, they weren't, but it sure felt as though they were.  The people at tables two through five didn't appear anxious.  They kept themselves busy with trivial tasks. One was fidgeting with his cell phone, another with his laptop.  The man at table four was meticulously rearranging the items in his backpack.  They must have felt just as uncomfortable as I had.     

     While I was sitting alone and without distraction,  I was able to just slow down for a bit and relax.  I began to enjoy the stillness.  My food arrived.  I ate as I watched the man at table number four clean out his backpack for the second and third time.      

      I realized that sitting alone wasn't so bad after all......only next time, I'll be sure to bring my backpack.

Don't Let the Stroller Hit You on The Way In

     It wasn't until I recently joined a Mommy and Me group that I realized that I am a "mommy".  You'd think I would have figured this out earlier; my son is now 16 months old. It hit me all of a sudden, as did the stroller behind me on the way from the parking lot to the classroom, that I am a mommy.  Holy cow....when did this happen?  I mean I know when it happened, but how? Wait, I know that too.  
    Being around other mothers really makes you think about yourself as a mother.  You can't help but compare who you are to others, at least I can't.  I've found that I've come across three types of moms and don't know where I fit in exactly.
     First, you have the chic 40+ hour full time worker, part time L.A. mom.  It's easy to spot this mom, because you can usually find her in one of two locations: The Sherman Oaks Fashion Square or The Grove on a Saturday, walking ahead of her nanny, who's pushing a dual stroller with the two kids she had back to back.  She has a Frappuccino NSA (No Sugar Added) in one hand and her latest Coach bag in the other.  She is wearing Juicy Coiture sweats and DKNY gym shoes that she would never wear to the gym.  She looks well rested, bleached, botoxed and manicured, while the nanny looks like she just ran the marathon through a rain storm.  She is calm and joins her nanny and oh yeah, her kids, almost forgot about them, for a small salad lunch.  After her salad and Vitamin Water, Mom just takes one more look at that outfit she'd been eyeing in the window at Bebe, while the nanny continues to feed the kids fried chicken nuggets, fries and a soda.
     Next, you have the full time mom with part time sanity.  You won't find this mom at the mall, but instead she can be found at your local grocery store, Costco or park.  This mom is confident that being a mom is the only thing she wants to be.  Wife? Well, that went out the window when she and Daddy decided to bring Junior into the world.  She looks like she hasn't slept in days.  She is always in a hurry.  You can easily spot her because she usually has Junior's lunch somewhere on her sweater and her highlights have outgrown to the point that you are not sure what color she's going for.  There's no nanny in sight for this mom.  Nope, she can tackle it all on her own.  She enjoys doing laundry, baking cookies and eating.  In fact, eating takes up most of her day.   Along with being the quickest stroller folder and unfolder this town has ever seen, this mom can hold Junior in one hand and build a house in the other.  She is the Xena of all mothers.  
     Lastly, you have Mrs. Balance-It-All 50-50.  50% caring for her children and 50% devoted to her hobbies,  marriage, vacations, household chores, childhood dreams, family security, sanity, relaxation, supporting her husband's career, keeping the in-laws happy, manicure, pedicures, massages, cookie baking, outings for her children, extra-curricular activities, soccer practice, PTA presidency, animal shelter volunteering, cooking class, yoga, weight- watchers, along with the struggle of not being botoxed Mommy #1 or food-stained Mommy #2.  The pressure is on for Mrs. Balance-It-All.  She loves being a mom first and foremost, but does not want to lose herself in the process.  Her in-laws swear she doesn't have time for them, her husband asks why she never slows down, and she thinks she is not doing enough.  Mrs. Balance-It-All is able to take it all in stride at the end of the day, with a warm bath, a couple of Advils and a shot of tequila or chamomile tea, or tequila in her chamomile tea, depending on the type of day she has had.
     I think about the three types of moms I've come across and can't decide where I fit in.  Botoxed mom is definitely not me.  Come to think of it, I do drink Frappuccinos with no sugar added, but yup, no botox, no nanny, no dual stroller and definitely no Coach bag. (Note: I must be the only person on this planet who is not a Coach fan.  Sorry, Coach.)  I'm also not Mommy #2, although I have been known to walk around all day with Elmo Mac and Cheese on my shirt or in my hair.  My hightlights also haven't grown out that much.  Mommy #3 is definitely not me.  I don't like tequila and I'm allergic to chamomile.
     Perhaps, I am different.  I truly enjoy motherhood and my family. (Let my in-laws think they are included in this statement, it's OK.)  I've come to realize that I don't have to be like someone else or keep up with the Spellings next door.   I learned to shut out the opinions, a.k.a suggestions of others.  I'm proud to be Marc's mommy.  His opinion of me is the only one that counts.  Now if I keep telling myself that, hopefully I will truly believe it.

Botox Shmotox

Botox- is it really necessary?  What's wrong with wrinkles?  Who decided they are not attractive? Doesn't it make the person look older, wiser, having had more life experience ?  Isn't that the point? Is there a reason we all need to look like teenagers with baby perfect skin ?  Has Hollywood taken over the world?

I have to admit, I do like when people who have gotten botox injections admit that they have and they don't naturally look like they are not aging.  Isn't there a name for that kind of disease ?Shouldn't we all be proud to grow old?  

Bored

     Merriam-Webster defines boredom as "the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest".  Although I understand the literal meaning of the word, it is the concept of boredom that I can not grasp.  It's not that I have never been bored, but the times that I have been are because I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time, a place that I don't feel I belong.    To be bored on a daily basis is something I have yet to experience.  If being bored is the product of doing something with lack of interest, wouldn't a mere solution to the problem be to simply change your course of action or at least your perspective of what you are doing?  Of course if boredom makes you happy, then by all means continue to do what you love.
     I began thinking about the phenomenon of "boredom" after hearing it over and over again from someone close to me.  It seems as though she is always bored and searching for something that makes her happy.  A funny thing is that her husband is always bored too.  Is it just me that sees the forest through the trees? Perhaps, her and her husband are bored of each other?  Why not just do what makes you happy?  The funny thing is that I am the one she turns to in these times of "I am so bored and have nothing else to do, so I called you".   (I must admit that it is nice to know you are needed, even if the person has expired every other option beforehand.) 
     Of course everyone is bored now and again, when sitting in traffic or waiting in line at the post office, but choosing how to react to the situation is what constitutes boredom.   So every time I run around thinking of how much I do in a given day, I remember her.  It's better to have a lot to do, than be bored.  At least that's my opinion.

PUBLISHED ARTICLE : Crafts Revitalize Israeli Spirit

     While strolling old Jaffa’s gallery district in May, Zehava Bitton saw empty storefronts. "It was heartbreaking," said Bitton, who was on a mission with American Red Magen David for Israel (ARMDI), Israel’s equivalent of the Red Cross. "I used to work as a tour guide in the area, and I remember it was so alive before the intifada. There were people walking everywhere, and music spilling out into the streets. But now out of 40 galleries, only six are left."
     The galleries are among numerous of Israeli small businesses that have folded since 2000 as a result of a significant decline in tourism due to fears of terrorism.
     To help the dying arts scene, Bitton initiated "Art for Life," which will take place in three Southern California venues Dec. 11-16. The event will feature work by more than 15 top Israeli artists, who will donate one-fifth of their sales to ARMDI. Eight will appear in person, including world-renown sculptor Frank Meisler and jewelry designer Amitai Kav.
"To survive for Israeli artists these days means going abroad," said a grateful Ori Gabrieli of Gabrieli Weaving.
     Bitton knows something about survival. The former paratrooper fled her Sharm el-Sheikh home when Israel returned the Sinai to Egypt. She eventually worked for the Jewish Agency for Israel during the massive Russian and Ethiopian immigrations of 1991. After moving to Los Angeles around 1995, she became a western region board member of ARMDI.
     Bitton, 43, envisioned "Art for Life" after meeting Gabrieli in Los Angeles some months ago. He told her he had been forced to close several of his galleries and to drum up clients overseas. When he described participating in bazaars with other Israeli artists across the United States, she asked Martin Cooper, ARMDI’s Western Region board of directors chair, to help plan a similar event for Los Angeles.
     "It will show that beautiful art is still being created in Israel, despite the political situation," she said.