The wedding registry, such a simple concept. You will be attending a wedding, shower or any other momentous occasion and don't know what to get, so you simply look to the gift registry.
The gift registry -a list of things that the person has requested you buy for them with prices included. How convenient, right? Don't get me wrong, when you are at wit's end trying to figure out what to get "Miss, oh thanks, that's nice, it's so YOUR taste" or "Mr. thanks I love the gift, but you shouldn't have. No, really....you shouldn't have"., the registry is a sure win-win every time, or is it?
Registry dilemma #1: Miss "I-need-to-entertain" (although she hardly ever has entertained anyone before, unless you count her tasteless jokes) registers for a 15-piece china set at $150 a setting or mixing bowls for $29.99. Clearly, what do you think the entertaining Miss would prefer you get her? If you answered mixing bowls, you clearly have not gone through the registry shuffle thoroughly to note that the $29.99ish gifts were thrown in to throw you for a loop, to, in fact, make you feel bad that you didn't get her the new electronic sweeper that does it all for you (because when you are busy entertaining, who has time to sweep?) for $399.99 (not $400.) How do you compete with the "great gifts" (high-priced) and the "cheap, I can't believe that's all you got me gifts".
Registry dilemma #2: Getting lost in the crowd. Now that you have made your selection and decided to go in with your closest friends, relatives and even people you don't know attending the wedding, to get Mr. & Mrs. Need To Entertain that new refrigerator, just so you don't appear cheap, how does the happy couple know how much you've contributed to the group or if you just signed the card. When they send out Thank Yous will it just be one for the group (ie" Thank you fellow refrigerator contributors, we will be thinking of all of you every time we refill our glasses with the great crescent-shaped cubes from our automatic ice dispenser) or is there a way to partially purchase the item through the registry to receive full credit for your part. Also, is your contribution refundable?
Registry dilemma #3: The element of surprise is gone. Where is the old-fashioned sense of anticipation to see what Aunt Matilda knitted you this time or if your always drunk Uncle Chuck's 95th bottle of Tequila (shipped to you from one of his weekend cruises to Mexico) include a worm in it or not this time? How exciting is it to get gifts you already know you are going to get? The bride opens yet another gift from "enter online store registry here" with the same wrapping paper and of course logo on the bag to further remind her that yes, this gift is from your registry don't worry. (atleast wrap it in a grocery bag or something to scare the living hell out of her) So the bride opens her gift and smiles...."Wow...mixing bowls. Thank you so much I love them..." and then mutters under her breath..."of course I do, I chose them..but didn't think that my maid of honor would stoop that low and get me the $29.99 cups after all I've done for her- giving her the honor to stand up by me at the alter and have her hair done with me...." (Ok, getting carried away for a moment). How should the bride respond to the gift purchases ? Should she act surprised that that particular person bought that particular gift or just smile because she willingly received exactly what she asked for?
Registry dilemma #4 (final dilemma..because I decided to end it here...I could go on for days). You are the ONE person who strays from "THE REGISTRY" (aka "THE ONLY GIFTS TO BUY). Kudos to you for your daringness, but good luck trying to fit in with everyone else when the bride or her maid of honor (because she gets all the tasks the bride avoids) looks over the list of gifts she has received scribbled on some restaurant napkin and remembers you. "Oh yeah, THAT gift". She is thinking exactly what you'd think she would. " Why didn't I get EXACTLY what I asked for?" There's no room for creativity here people. (Not even in the choice or wrapping paper) You're basically doomed, unless you've included a gift receipt. You're especially doomed if you thought you were being smart for purchasing the EXACT (or so you thought) replica of that Cuisinart blender at wholesale for half the price, when as the bride is
opening your gift you see it's not "Cuisinart" but "Cuisincopy". You should've stuck to the registry, Then the worst thing that would've happened is the bride would've known you purchased one of the $29.99 fill in gifts, but at least it's $29.99 worth of something she actually wanted.
The registry has taken the guessing game out of what to buy for the bride and groom. With it, it has taken out the element of surprise. But who needs surprises any way. With all the surprises the bride will have to face at the wedding... oh no, the napkins don't match my centerpieces, will my centerpieces match my dress, will my dress match my shoes, oh...where did I put my shoes again....at least the bride can be sure of one thing....(if it's not who she's marrying as well) that the gifts she received were exactly what she ordered. What she's going to do with all of them..now that's another question.
