Life Lessons Learned at the 99 Cent Only Store

I thought the man behind me in line at the 99 cent only store was going to yell at me for holding up the line when he tapped me on the shoulder. "Excuse me," he said, as I was trying to decide between party favors for my son's birthday party. I turned around slowly, already thinking of something witty to say about why it was taking me so long to choose between sand pails and beach balls, but he interrupted, thankfully.

He asked if I was throwing a party for my child and went on reminiscing about his children's younger years. With tears in his eyes, he explained, "they teach us more than we can ever teach them."

I told the man I agreed with him, and completed my purchase of beach balls and sand pails (I couldn't choose between the two...and the price was right.) I made my way to the car thinking about what he had said. I thought about all the things that my son has taught me.

This is what I have learned so far:

1) We are born with our personalities and spend a lifetime trying to reinvent ourselves with what is deemed appropriate at the time.

2) We are forced to say we are sorry, even when we are not.

3) We HAVE TO share, even when we don't want to.

4) We learn to lie to please others. "Let's call Auntie X to tell her how much you love that sweater she knitted for you. Of course it is a much better gift than that train set you wanted. Trains can't keep you warm."

5) We have to hide our true feelings. "Please don't yell at the waiter, because he spilled ice cold apple juice on you, Sweety. It was an accident."

6) We learn that being polite often means compromising ourselves. (No explanation needed.)

7) We NEVER get hurt. "I know you fell down, but you're O.K.! Here hold this compress over your bruised ego...I mean knee."

8) We bend the truth to protect our families. "Of course cousin Jane loves you even though she doesn't send you birthday presents or Hanukkah presents or call or visit or..."

9) First we have to get the icky things done, before we can play. Really? "Help mommy put away the toys and then we can go out and play."

10) Authority always wins. "Because mommy and daddy said so." and lastly...

11) Doing things on your own, makes you big.

These are just the few lessons that came to mind on my way to the car (It was a long walk.) My son challenges me everyday to be the best person I can be. As cliched as it sounds, it is an extremely difficult task to take on. I can only trust that what I teach him doesn't take away from who he is. I hope I'm on the right track. (From the looks of my list...not so much.) If I'm wrong, (and what parent is, really), I can only hope that, when he goes to discuss me in therapy as an adult, that his therapist goes easy on me. And to my son; I apologize in advance.

Not a Groupie

Recently, my friends have been joining "mommy groups." Groups where moms and their kids get together for weekly outings and activities.  (How is that different than the activities I already do with my son or friends?  I don't know...but I'm guessing that it just is.)  I don't belong to a mommy group.  Maybe I needed to.  I want to fit in, too.  I, too, want to swap recipes, host Tupperware parties and join multi-tiered marketing schemes.  I began to feel left out, something had to be done.

So, I did what any good mother would do, and researched the best of mommy groups out there (on the Internet, of course). 

And there it was: www.meetup.com.

Meetup.com is a group heaven.  There are hundreds of groups to choose from anywhere in the country, and not just for mommies.  I was overwhelmed.  How do you choose the perfect one? Then, I found one in my area.  "Star Trek and Space Exploration Group"...but thought that maybe I was getting off topic a little bit.  (How fun would it be to explore space?  Do they teleport themselves?)  So, I continued my search and found one that seemed to fit a little better.  I signed up for "San Fernando Valley Moms."  (Because I just knew that we already were going to have a lot in common.  We were from the same geographic location, how could we not?)

I couldn't wait to join.  I began imagining hosting my very own Tupperware party, buying scrapbooking supplies and earning my Gold Star sales executive pin in my new pyramid scheme group.  I couldn't wait...but I had to.  

I filled out the questionnaire and clicked "join."  A message appeared instantly: "awaiting reply from leader."  So, I waited and waited and waited.  No reply.  

I double checked that my "application" was complete.  Yup.  Three pages all about me, my hobbies, my likes, my dislikes, my background, my opinions, my ideas, my life story and what I ate this morning for breakfast (I thought the last one was a little much too, but answered it anyway -Lucky Charms.)

I couldn't wait to hear from "the leader." I couldn't wait to be "led."

Two days later, it came...the email I had been waiting for.  

It read:

Your request to join The San Fernando Valley Moms Meetup Group 

was declined.

The person who declined your request said:

Feel free to post your pic and re-

apply.  

A second chance?  Gold Star Executive of the month?  I decided to pass.  I'm actually glad I got rejected (I know...that's what everyone says when they get rejected).  But I REALLY mean it.  I'm just not cut out to fit into a 'certain' group...and besides, I have way too many plastic storage containers already.  

What's Going On?

People have been exceptionally nice today. Ok, what's going on? Where are the hidden cameras? Doors were being held, mothers were friendly on the playground. I broke a bowl while standing in line at a Mongolian barbeque restaurant and (get this) the guy next to me offered to pick up the broken pieces. What? I thanked him profusely and did it myself anyway. He moved me out of the way and insisted that I had my hands full already, as my son was rearing to go. Maybe he just felt that clumsy ol' me had done enough damage already. (He was being nice, regardless.)

I thanked him after we chatted for a bit about how selfish people have become. I guess we were wrong...today anyway.